Need a laugh??? Just go through it...

Hello friends, this time I'm posting a collection of funny facts. Some of these facts you may have read earlier, otherwise most of these facts are new ones. So make laugh yourselves.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

 Don’t worries about what people think; they don’t do it very often.

 Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

 Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

 It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

 For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

 If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

 Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.

 A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

 Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

 No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

 A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

 Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

 Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

 Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

 There is always one more imbecile than you counted on!!

 Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

 By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

  Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

 If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

You are unique and special, just like everyone else.

The man who walks far will always get there after the man with a car

Live every day like it's your last because one day you will be right!!!!

Behind every successful woman is a not so surprised man

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiters, is not a nice person.

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Character is what you are.
Reputation is what people think you are.

Drive carefully
It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire
his work.

A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. If at first you don't succeed ... well, so much for sky diving.

A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two
things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.