English words that mean different in India

India is the second largest English speaking country in the world. From BPOs to bestselling authors, Indians have found their way everywhere because of the English language. Though we've developed a new fusion language called 'Hinglish', which we speak most commonly, there are a few words and phrases in English whose meanings change considerably when we use them in India.While 'please adjust' may mean to 'alter or move something slightly', when we say 'adjust' in India, we're usually in a bus or a metro asking people help us squeeze in when there's clearly no place to sit. The mall may be a place where people go to shop, but in India the mall is also the place where you catch up with friends, go on a date, and take selfies for Facebook profile pictures.Here are some other English words and phrases that mean something else in India.

‘Excuse me’: Usually used as a request or an apology, if you utter this phrase in India you’re most likely squeezing through a crowd. Most people in the crowd won’t respond to you and may not even move aside to let you pass. But you will be ‘excused’ by a few.

‘Stand in queue’: Generally used to inform people to stay in line, if you see a sign that asks people to stand in a queue in India, it will usually be above a chaotic ticket counter.

‘No parking’: Ideally a place where you cannot park your vehicle. India meaning: If you cannot find parking anywhere, it’s okay to park your vehicle under the ‘no parking’ sign while keeping an eye on it.

‘Marriage’: In India, marriages are occasions where every 20-something’s parents are going to be finding them a match from the guests at the gathering.

‘Crowded’: While a crowd may mean a ‘small and definable’ group of people, but in India it usually means a large jamboree of countless people.

‘One-way road’: Ideally, a road where traffic goes only in one direction. In India a one-way road is a path you can sometimes take when you need to get home early and there are no cops around, or a road you take because the u-turn is too far away.

‘Mall’: Used by people across the world to shop, we don’t just go to the mall to buy things on sale. We also go to attend parties, laze around and take selfies for Facebook profile pictures here.

‘Cartoon’: An animated film or a strip. In India you can call someone who looks funny a cartoon and also use it to pack your stuff while shifting houses. (Yes, a carton.)

‘Cousins’: Cousins are relatives with whom a person ‘shares common ancestors’. In India they are people your parents will compare your grades, salary packages, and their son/daughter-in-law.

‘Sports’: Football, hockey, cricket, tennis are all types of sports. In India, however, when you say sports, you’re definitely talking about cricket.

‘Fast food’: Pizzas and burgers may be the world’s favourite form of fast food, when in India, it usually means ‘momos’ and ‘chow mein’ at the fast food corner.

‘God’: The world may worship a supreme being as God, in India God includes Sachin Tendulkar and 33 crore other idols.

‘Long-drive’: A long drive to the country side is how the world may enjoy it. A long drive on a pleasant day in India usually means going down the nearest highway and occasionally getting stuck in traffic jams.

‘Convent’: Usually a residence for Christian nuns, you might find convent being used to describe schools in India, at times even those schools that aren’t even run by nuns!

 not even move aside to let you pass. But you will be ‘excused’ by a few.

‘Stand in queue’: Generally used to inform people to stay in line, if you see a sign that asks people to stand in a queue in India, it will usually be above a chaotic ticket counter.

‘No parking’: Ideally a place where you cannot park your vehicle. India meaning: If you cannot find parking anywhere, it’s okay to park your vehicle under the ‘no parking’ sign while keeping an eye on it.

‘Marriage’: In India, marriages are occasions where every 20-something’s parents are going to be finding them a match from the guests at the gathering.

‘Crowded’: While a crowd may mean a ‘small and definable’ group of people, but in India it usually means a large jamboree of countless people.

‘One-way road’: Ideally, a road where traffic goes only in one direction. In India a one-way road is a path you can sometimes take when you need to get home early and there are no cops around, or a road you take because the u-turn is too far away.

‘Mall’: Used by people across the world to shop, we don’t just go to the mall to buy things on sale. We also go to attend parties, laze around and take selfies for Facebook profile pictures here.

‘Cartoon’: An animated film or a strip. In India you can call someone who looks funny a cartoon and also use it to pack your stuff while shifting houses. (Yes, a carton.)

‘Cousins’: Cousins are relatives with whom a person ‘shares common ancestors’. In India they are people your parents will compare your grades, salary packages, and their son/daughter-in-law.

‘Sports’: Football, hockey, cricket, tennis are all types of sports. In India, however, when you say sports, you’re definitely talking about cricket.

‘Fast food’: Pizzas and burgers may be the world’s favourite form of fast food, when in India, it usually means ‘momos’ and ‘chow mein’ at the fast food corner.

‘God’: The world may worship a supreme being as God, in India God includes Sachin Tendulkar and 33 crore other idols.

‘Long-drive’: A long drive to the country side is how the world may enjoy it. A long drive on a pleasant day in India usually means going down the nearest highway and occasionally getting stuck in traffic jams.

‘Convent’: Usually a residence for Christian nuns, you might find convent being used to describe schools in India, at times even those schools that aren’t even run by nuns!

Funny celebrity equations

This is what happens when you mix things up:

Best Modi Sarkaar Jokes- funny meme

1) Because no meme goes without the blessings of The Joker!



2. Modi has a jokes for Pappu


3.How can Kejriwal be missed?



4. School Geometry joke!



5. Some good old Bollywood rhyme scheme!



6 Yep. At this point anything that rhymes with "ar" goes. 



7 Trust the internet to know when not to stop. Har har!



8. Little bit science level jokes, no?



9. Bhaiyaa Sukhi poori dena ek aur, Ab ki baar modi sarkar! (If they can, we can)



10. Yes, cough syrup. Not even sorry.



11.Does it even matter?



12. Salman and controversy. Longest running relationship. ever



13. Some 3 idiots flavour?



14. Are you even reading this?



15. Food guide to Gujarat


16.Alok Nath, of course



17. Everything is about Modi. Everything.



18: The gist of this entire meme stream.

Arvind Kejriwal- funny and wierd jokes

1. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he doesn't have any LIC policy. He believes that honesty is the best policy.

2. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he clicked on 'I'm below 18 years' on porn websites when he was a kid.

3. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he always removes the 'USB' safely.

4. Arvid Kejriwal is so honest that he never skips youtube ads.

5. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he seeks his wife's permission to keep extra marital affairs.

6. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that whenever Madhuri asked 'Choli ke pechhe kya hai', he used to give the real answer.

7. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he rolls on the floor before texting ROFL.

8. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he got his wife's brother arrested for stealing his shoes during his shaddi.

9. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he buys platform tickets at a halt station.

10. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when he finds a bomb, he returns it to the terrorists.

11. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he likes Shakira's hips because they dont lie.

12. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that if he misses the red-light by mistake, he takes a U-turn to stop before the red light.

13. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when he clicks 'Remind me later' on a windows update, he makes sure he updates it the next time.

14. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when he throws a party, he himself calls the cops after 10p.m

15. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that courts of india are deciding to replace Geeta with a picture of him to take oath of honesty.

16. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that no woman has ever asked him 'Do I look fat in this?'

17. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he actually tests the level of salt in colgate active salt.

18. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he never cleared the browser history.

19. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he bought a Winrar license.

20. Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he never wears V.I.P underwear or baniyan.