Best quotes on Sir Ravindra Jadeja

DISCLAIMER: The below quotes have been written as a joke and are NOT true. Please read with a pinch of salt.

Quotes:

“There are 2 kinds of all-rounders in the world. One – Ravindra Jadeja. Two – Adnan Sami!” – Bappi Lahiri

“I am unfortunate that I only get to bowl at him in the nets.” – Harbhajan Singh

“Anything can happen to us if we’re on a plane flying over a cricket stadium in India with Ravindra Jadeja at the bowling crease.” – A paranoid air-hostess

“He has been out of form longer than some of our guys have been alive.” – Unmukt Chand

“If I am to field when Jadeja is bowling, I will field with my helmet on. They all hit him so hard!” – Cheteshwar Pujara

“I saw him playing on television & was struck by his technique, so I asked my wife to come look at him. Now I never saw myself play, but I feel that this player is playing much the same as I used to play, and she looked at him on TV and said – are you effing out of your mind?! I’d like a drag of whatever it is you’ve been smoking, chump. Now get dressed…you are going to see an ophthalmologist!” – Sir Gary Sobers

“Technically, you can’t fault Jadeja. Seam or spin, fast or slow every goddamn thing is a problem.” – Geoffrey Boycott

“The pressure on me is nothing compared to Ravindra Jadeja. Jadeja, like Ram Gopal Verma, must always fail. The crowd always expects him to fail and it is too much pressure on him. And, he rarely disappoints them.” – Jacques Kallis

“Don’t bother bowling him good balls, he gets out to the bad ones.” – Monty Panesar

“Jadeja has been sent by N. Srinivasan to play cricket and then go back…to Dhoni.” – Ravi Shastri

“I’ll be going to bed having sweet reassuring dreams of myself just running down the wicket & belting him back over the head for six!” – Shoaib Malik, Shane Watson & David Warner (in unison)

“When Sir Ravindra Jadeja first travelled to Sri Lanka to play in yet another of those meaningless ODI series, Shahid Afridi was yet to come out of his 2nd retirement, Tiger Woods was yet to be accused of infidelity, Balotelli had never earned a red card & Kristen Stewart was still a virgin.

When Jadeja embarked on a glorious career taming Kulasekara & co., Poonam Pandey was a name unheard of; Suresh Raina’s nephew was in his nappies; baby Bachchan was still a stray sperm swimming in AB’s pelvic cavity & SRK was yet to promote Ra.One.

It seems while Time was having his toll on every individual on the face of this planet, he excused one man. Time stands frozen in front of Jadeja. We’ve had champions, we’ve had legends, but we’ve never had a Jadeja & we never will.” – Time magazine 

“The earth has carried the burden of Jadeja for 24 years. It is time we carried him on our shoulders.” – some undertaker

“Only he can play that leg glance with his thigh guard.” – Waqar Younis

“He is just what the doctor ordered (Euthanasia).” – Ravi Shastri

“He is to Indian Cricket what Tushar Kapoor is to Bollywood” – Shilpa Shetty

“Beneath the helmet, under that unruly curly hair, inside the cranium, there is something we don’t know, something he himself doesn’t know either – whether he’s a batsman or a bowler. Forget us, even those who are gifted enough to play alongside him cannot even fathom. When he goes out to the ground, people switch off their TV sets for the high octane excitement of watching lawns grow.”– BBC

“Cricketers like Jadeja come once in a lifetime, and I am sorry he didn’t play in my time. Could have added a few more cheap wickets to my tally.” – Muttiah Muralitharan

“Commit all your crimes when Jadeja is batting. They will go unnoticed because even the Lord is dozing off to sleep.” – A placard at the Saurasthra Cricket Ground

Courtesy : Abhijit Dey

Proposed Changes for IPL4 (funny)

Hi friends, As you know cricket is more than a game in India. In recent years due the IPL, which is one of the most valued game event of the world, it has become more politicized than ever was. Right now IPL is in the process of undergoing a few major changes, so here are some (funny) changes to be made for next IPL.

1. The new Commissioner of the IPL, replacing Lalit Modi, will be an IAS officer, 1989 batch, transferred from the Food Corporation of India.

2. Mayawati will demand, however, that the new Chairman should be her own candidate, Mr Dalit Modi.

3. The name of Mumbai Indians will immediately be changed to Mumbai Manus. It will, naturally, field only Maharashtrians (preferably Maharashtrian Brahmins). All other players will have their legs broken. Zaheer Khan will have his house burned down. So will Irfan Pathan, Yusuf Pathan and Mohd Kaif.

4. The Chennai Super Kings team will be renamed Dravida Cricket Kazhagam. Subsequently one faction will break away and the team will split into DCK (DMK) and AIADCK, owing allegience to Karunanidhi and Jayalalitha respectively.

5. Each political party will have its own team: BJP Bandits, Congress Cobras, CPI Cadres, Samajwadi Strikers, CPM Challengers, Trinamul Tigers etc.

6. Auction of players will be replaced by teams calling for tenders for players. The lowest priced players will be picked.

7. Sonia Gandhi will insist that 30% of each team should be reserved for women.

8. Mayawati will demand that SC/ST players will need to run for only 18 yards instead of 22 yards between the wickets.

9. Third Umpire requests will have to be filled in triplicate and duly notarized.

10. All Third Umpire decisions will be referred to a Joint Parlimentary Commission.

11. IPL tickets will henceforth be available at all post offices and BSNL centers from 10 a.m. to 12.45 p.m. The facility to purchase tickets on your cellphone will immediately be withdrawn.

12. Replacing an injured foreign player can be done only through a Tatkal application submitted 48 hours after a Govt doctor examines him.

13. Cheerleaders will be replaced by retired Air-India flight attendants.

14. These new cheerleaders will perform the folk dances of the states they represent during breaks.

15. IPL matches will be shown only on Doordarshan. They will be telecast the day immediately following the match, from 4 a.m. to 7.30 a.m. and subsequently from 3.30 p.m. to 7p.m, subject to satellite link-up availability.

16. Between each innings break Doordarshan will telecast the news in Hindi, followed by news for the hearing impaired.

17. Agricultural shots can be played only during the phase of the game termed " Krishi Darshan."

18. There will be no matches on weekends or on national / regional holidays.

19. The three stumps will be painted saffron, white and green.

20. Bowlers will have to bowl sarpatti and ghasssarkundi balls (Hindi terms for underhand bowling) to the reserved players.

21. Pakistan will immediately announce its intention to start its own version of the tournament called PPL and Mr Zardari will make a visit to Washington to meet President Obama and seek an additional grant of $1 billion to fund it . 

Harbhajan's Heroic Century Saved the Test

Very Very Special Laxman’s decent inning and Harbhajan Singh’s spectacular maiden ton were enough to save the first test match against severely wounded NZ that recently lost both test and ODI series by Bangladesh, a very ordinary cricket team to combat. It was a very rare test match having a very absurd turn that put the Indian team in an almost losing the match situation from nearly won the match situation, within mere 31 balls of pacer Martin. And by the end of day 4, India was in a very uncomfortable situation, having just 115 runs lead and already loses its six wickets. But both the player of Indian squad Laxman and Harbhajan saved the test which almost won by kiwis.  

"Bhajji tusi..........
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
TUSI bade hi gr8 ho"

These are the lines wrote by a cricket fan, showing the love for heroic inning played by Harbhajan today. 

One more Indian fan commented "India to be no.1, its not because of dhoni's captaincy. Its all bcoz of the great players in indian team, and the platform set by the greatest captain ever for india that is sourav ganguly, the performing players are here bcoz of ganguly."

EVERYTHING IS FIXED

Once again Pakistan cricket's dirty face unveiled in front of the world by a sting operation of British newspaper 'news of the world'. When it came to light that a London based bookie is behind this fiasco in which seven players of Pakistan has been named for taking money for fixing the match, it became the most ashamed day for cricket. No Pakistani fan ever would have thought that their idol could do that for satisfying their greed. That's why news of pelting stone on donkeys with name written on those of the players are coming from Pakistan. 

The worst thing about this incident that this time the bookie were trying to fix very minute thing such as no-balls etc. This is called spot fixing which deals with fixing minor things instead of whole match fixing, that why it is very difficult to know that any thing like this is going on. In lord test three no-balls were fixed which delivered by Amir and Asif as claimed by Majeed.

By analyzing the seriousness of the issue ICC also suggested for banning the players for life in any format of international cricket. Such a demands came from many more cricket players and organization. Meanwhile Pakistan has denied to ban the players without full evidences. 

This is not the first time when any cricketer found indulging in match fixing and Pakistan had a long saga and expertise in this thing. Before this many international players from many nations have caught for this immoral deed. Cricketer Mohammed Azharuddin, Ajay Jadeja, Navjot Singh Siddu, Nikhil Chaupda, Saleem Malik, Herschelle Gibbs,  Nicky Boje, Mark Waugh Hancy Cronje, Shane Warne, Waqar,Wasim etc has been found involved in match fixing and faced charges.

Also cricket is not the only game which is facing charge of match fixing. In this league football, badminton, tannins etc have been in news for this particular thing.

Around one decade ago when many Indian players were found indulged in match fixing, many many people stop watching cricket match and Indian cricket took many years to come back on the track. Here it would be interesting that how Pakistan cricket will come out of this shit and how much time will it take.

 Tickets To Crickets

When Crickets Cry

 International Cricket 2010 (PS3) (UK)

From Srilanka with love

Just a few hours ago when India - Srilanka cricket match was about to start, I was very excited about the match. Due to the recent shor sharaba over Randiv's no-ball issue, it was natural to be so keen for a cricket lover. The match was good in starting but turned out in a nightmare for a Indian spectator since India was losing its wickets in every another over.

In the match no Indian batsman could score even a half century and with the highest score of 38 runs by Yuvraj, Indian inning could just kiss the a ton and lost its life at mere 103 runs.

But the twist was that India's such a low score was not because of Indian batsman's poor performance and great bowling by Srilankans, it was more due to bad umpiring. A total of 4 batsman lost their because of wrong decisions made by the umpires. Probably this is the first time in international cricket when so many wrong decision were taken.

Now I will not say that their is something kala in the hot dal, because last time I was wrong when i stated that Randiv's so called no ball was just a mistake, only later I knew that it was his deliberate action that lessen the spirit of the game and made Srilankan board to keep begging for apologies for a couple of days.

But it is sure that the game has changes so much in last decade or so. With many high level controversies right from the match fixing, ball tempering, IPL ke ghaple etc. to saving the test from T20, ICC is facing a tough time in time of the change.

I think in the last decade cricket has evolved in 'laphange pareende' from a Gentleman now. And with the change it should be make sure that no one can spoil it, and these kind of controversies are not good for the game.

'ye sab to chalta rahta hai' and I'm sure BCCI is good enough for tackle these kind of issues, so aam spectators should consider it a gift from srilanka with love.....

the perfect cricket match

That was just a perfect cricket match. Only thing missing in the match was sachin tendulkar's presence but harbhajan's sixes compensated that and make the match a memorable. the fight between the rivals added some spices in whole thing. Harbhajan's after play was one of the most memorable part of the match. Certainly it was one of the best match that ever played, though any pakistani national would hardly agree with it.

farewell to Rajasthan Royals.....

It's now crystal clear that Rajasthan Royals is no more in the race to win IPL-3. This winner of the inaugural edition was at 6th position last year and this time it probably would be at the second last place. I hope in next edition the team management would get some nice player for almost free of cost as they get last time and the team's performance will improve......

SACHIN THE GREAT

I was in my institute when listened the news that sachin has scored 151 and still playing, also their are 15 more overs left to play for India. That was a great news for a die hard cricket fan like me. Since their was no source to watch the match live but to ask friend by calling them so I simply started discussion about the match that can sachin hit a double century today or not. The discussion was going on than we come to know that he has made 188 not out and still their are many overs left to play. By listening this we all rushed to university hostel which was house full with people and noise that were shouting for sachin who was playing at 191 at that time. For next a few minutes the crowd shout louder and shout more louder and shout even more loudervas sachin was steadily making more runs and finally surpass the highest score of ODI, that was 194 by anwar. The shouts reached to the highest level as sachin made the 200th run and created history by doing the once considered impossible task in a ODI.
BRAVO SACHIN, This is the performance which could be done by such a class player. That's why we all love you so much.