Best Jokes- In Hindi

Santa Radio lekar khet me potti karne gaya.
Banta:Aaj to maje se ki hogi?
Santa:Khak maje se ki, radio pe Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya. Khade khade kani padi.

Ekbar ek sharabi ja raha tha achanak kichchad me gir gaya itneme bijli chamki sharabi bola he bhagwan ek to kichchad me gira diya aur photo bhi khinch liya

1 Sardar library me 3 Ghante 1 Book padhne k Baad bola
SO BORING itne sare characters but no story.
Librarian-
Sardar Ji, wo TELEPHONE DIARY thi.

Ek Sardar apne Marriage Certificate ko ek ghante se dekh raha tha.Biwi boli:tussi inni der se ki dekh rahe ho?
Sardar:Expiry Date dekh raha hu. ....

T.V. chalu karo aur news dekho katrina hospitaliesed hai kyonki usne mujhe propose kiya aur maine use sadi se mana kardiya to us pagli ne apne hath ki nas kat li

100 ladkiyo ne suicide kar liya aur 30 ne apne nas kat li aur 10 ladkiya behose ho gayi kyonki kisi kamine ne meri sadi kijhoti khabar faela di thi

One day RAVAN went to disco... aur woh behosh ho gaya, due to shock.....!
why.....?? " Coz the entry fee was Rs. 1500 per HEAD...!!!

Har Khushi Teri Taraf Mod Doo
Tere Liye Chand Tare Tak Tod Doo
Khushiyon Ke Darwaje Tere Liye Khol Doon,
Itna Kaafi Hai ya Do Chaar Jhoot Aur Bol Doo

Munna bhai: "Circuit, agar bus pe tu chade, ya fir tujpe bs chadJaye 2 kya hoga"!!
Circuit: "bole 2 bhai,dono baar ticket apani hi kategi."

Maa-Nalayak Kaha Thi Itni Raat Tak?
Beti-Boyfriend Ke Saath,
Maa-Kar Aayi Na Muh Kala,
Beti-Toh Kya Hua Maa Fair & Lovely Hai Na. . .

pehle wo meri GF thi
Me bolta tha wo suni thi
phir wo meri mangetar bani,
Wo bolti thi main sunta tha
jab wo meri BIWI bani Hum dono bolte he
Mohalla sunta hai.

vo bhi kya din the jab 19-20 sal ki ladkiya hum ko roz kiss kar ti thi
lakin tab hamri kismat phuti thi ki hamari umar 2-3 sal ki thi

Girlfriend ne kiya kiss aur jal gye mere Lips.
Girlfriend ne kiya kiss or jal gye mere Lips.
Kyuki Vo kha kar ayi thi INDIAN "BINGO RED CHILLY CHIPS".

2 choohe paid pe baithe the,
neeche se 1 hathi guzra,
1 chooha hathi pe ja gira
dosra chooha bola - daba ke rakh saale ko me baata hu.

Funny Questions and Answers

1.What is the difference between Einstein and Karunanidhi.?

Einstein said that everything is relative wheras Karunanidhi says that relative is everything

2. Why is BanglaDesh not sending a contingent to Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump or swim, has already crossed the border of the country

3. Why did UPA Government
demonetise 25 paise coins? 
They could not manage one Anna, how could they manage four annas.?

4. 100 phones tapped each day per operator.

Finally here is a government that listens to people.

5. Vote for Baba Ramdev.

He’ll be the PM who can help you make your ends meet. Your head and toe, that is.

6. Mayawati, Jayalalitha & Mamata should now form an alliance.

They can call it Behenji-Amma-Didi. Or BAD, for short.

7. Some days, Digvijay Singh makes no sense.

Other days, he is silent.

8. Why people consider alcohol to be a problem.

Chemically speaking, it’s a solution.

9. Title of a documentary on
Kingfisher’s planes –
"Saare Zameen Par".

7 FUNNY JOKES

1). In School Days,

SANTA Was A Class Monitor!!
1 Day A New Teacher Asked Him.

"How Many Students R there In Ur Class???

He Replied:
"32 Girls, 44 Boys & Me'':-D

2). Girlfriend: Baby,

   I'm Pregnant.
   What Do You Want It To Be?
   .
   .
   .
   .
   .
   Boyfriend: A Joke.

   3). What is the difference between wife & saali?

Saali is Beauty,
Wife is duy,

Saali is passion,
Wife is tension,

Saali is patakha,
Wife is sayapa,

Saali is cool,
Wife is fool,

Saali is tuty-fruity,
Wife is qismat futi,

Saali is fresh cake,
Wife is earth quake...:p

4). Human brain is the most

    outstanding object in world.
    It functions 24 hours a day,
    365 days a year.
    It functions right from the time we are born,
    and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

  5).  2 Guys Were Following 2 Girls

Both Girls Took Rakhi & Tied To Their Hands.

1st Guy To Second-What Will We Do Now?

2nd Guy-U Marry My Sis,
I Will Marry Ur Sis

6). On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him,

    "Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?"
    Sardar : "Ya sure, from landline or mobile".

   7). SANTA went to court

JUDGE:
"Order ! Order !"

SANTA:
"1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"

JUDGE:
"Shut Up !"

SANTA:"No,No..7-Up!

fUNNY mAP oF iNDIA

What Men Say (And What They Really Mean)

What Men Say (And What They Really Mean):


I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)

There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)

I'm not attracted to you in that way. (You're ugly.)

My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)

I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)

I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)

It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)

I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)

I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)

Let's be friends. (You're ugly.)

World's funniest jokes

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."